He says, She says (Part 3)

Ligawan Stage

So this is the part where Dennis already laid down his intentions, and I said yes to courtship. 

I’ll share here the things we learned and what God taught us during this season. Hope this encourages you!

Dennis told me to share his insecurities in this blog because he thought that it would encourage the men out there. Some of his insecurities were:

- "Parang mas spiritually mature pa sya sakin, pano ko sya illead? Baka ako pa yung ilead nya"
- "Pano ako papasok sa circle of friends nya, nakakaintimidate kasi medyo sosyal sila..."
- "Hindi naman ako galing sa magandang paaralan, baka meron mas bagay at nararapat pa sakanya"
- "Sino ba naman ako..."

So all of these self-pitying thoughts were circling inside his head during courtship... He told me when we were officially together, that there was even a time when he almost backed out but God would always bring him back and remind him on how He answered his prayers about me. 

His friends would also encourage him and  pray for him during this time especially when the lies of the enemy would get to him making him doubt and dwell on his insecurities...

Most of these guys know our story, hi guys!

Having a small tribe of trusted friends is really important. I say small because you don't need the entire barangay cheering you on and don't feel like you have to get everyone's approval because that's not going to happen. :P

Who's your tribe?

On my part, my small tribe consists of my victory group leader, my best friend, my spiritual leader back in college and my two close friends since grade school.

All of them are strong Christians. I chose them because I know they will tell me the truth and speak it in love. They also know me very well because I grew up with them so they know my history and would immediately see my blind spots. 

So during this time, they were witnesses to our story. They were recipient of my emergency viber messages and quick catch up dates when I find myself in my own swirl of thoughts... So take ko narin yung time na to na pasalamatan sila, kung nababasa nyo man to, Ate Ronna, Ate Flo, Ja, Mhe and Kim -- salamat. *tear drop*  haha!

The more, the many-er!

This is also the time when we met each other's friends so we can get to know each better. 

It's interesting to see Dennis in his comfort zone and how he is with new people... same goes for me. He said that when I met his friends, he saw how easily I adapt and get along with them. On the other hand, I saw how intentional Dennis is with his friends and how he is shy at first but warms up eventually to people after the first meeting.

I think the exciting thing about courtship is you get to enjoy each other's differences, as much as the similarities.

We both like adventures but when we climbed Mt. Nagpatong, I saw the probinsyano side of him who treats treks like he is just walking along EDSA. Hiyang hiya naman ako! Haha! Nagpabebe daw ako sa hike na to (yan sinabi ko na :P), so the next time we hiked, I tried to hold my own. Time with him is always fun because he always challenges me and pushes me to try new things. Yaaay!

They say that the purpose of dating is clarity, not intimacy. Is this the person you see yourself being with for the rest of your life? Is he someone you see yourself growing together with the Lord? 

Getting Past our Pasts

So it was also during courtship where we were reminded who we were before Jesus... Yung old lives namin, past mistakes, failures, etc.

It was during this time when we would tell each other everything. May tanungan portion kami. So it's good to ask the tough questions early on. 

There are days when the other person would be quiet, digesting what has just been said, because these are not the pretty things you hear. But love rejoices with the truth, even the truths that we are too shameful to admit because we don't know if the other person would still look at us the same way... 

But at the end of the day, we would say what has to be said and just hope for the best. 

My self righteousness also resurfaced at this time. And when I was beginning to really like him, fear was also starting to set in my heart making me ask what if he does the thing he did before? If he did it before he can do it again, right?

But God would bring me back to how He transformed him and that we both are made new in Christ, the old is gone and the new has come. Same goes for me... I also did things in the past. So there is no reason to let the past still have a hold on us because God has already set us free from it. 

I think one of the affirmations I received from God was how I see God's grace all the more at work during courtship. It wasn't just me and him inside our tiny bubble, but I saw all the more how God worked in our lives both and how He continues to work in us...

So it was continuous seeking from God during courtship that eventually made me know for sure.

But there was one particular day when I knew in my heart that I am ready to say to being his girlfriend... I'll share on the next post how God affirmed us at pano ko sya sinagot!

#Sobrangbitin ba hahaha!

You might also like:

She says (Part 1)

He says (Part 2)